you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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