Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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(979): View more from Texas

Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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(315): View more from New York

I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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(620): View more from Kansas

new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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(952): View more from Minnesota

you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits

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(630): View more from Illinois

My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.

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