They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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