I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
