I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
