fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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