You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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