I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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