Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
