Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
