His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
