Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
