My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
