Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
