people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
