I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize