a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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