Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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