The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
