i would punch a child for taco bell
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
