of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
