I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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