forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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