Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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