dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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