she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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