someone threw a dead crab at me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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