it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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