Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
