you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
