Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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