I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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