NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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