Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize