jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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