he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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