last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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