everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
