kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
