ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
