when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize