This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
