my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Drake has all the answers
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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