is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
