Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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