Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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