I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How does one acquire holy water?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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