Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
