I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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