He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
