you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
