im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
