would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize