She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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