I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
