all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
