hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Boobs are out for the taking
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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