Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize