If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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