We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
