you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
