How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
