Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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