Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
