if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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