did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
