and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
