Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
