Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
