I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
